He ejaculates, rolls off you and says it was great and now he’s tired. ‘Is that really it?’ you think.
[This is a snippet from my article on Medium.]
There is this idea of sex ending with penis-in-vagina and the owner of the penis’ ejaculation, which also, if you think about it, takes away from the LGBT+ narratives of what constitutes as sex. Foreplay is usually seen as the precursory act leading to actual sex, when it should actually be the main event, instead of penetration. Constantly perpetuating the idea of penetrative sex as being the end goal is a problem (since sometimes, you just don’t want to have a penis in you and a lot of people aren’t straight), making it out to be the default for sex every time.
Having sex, as a woman with a man, means experiencing that feeling of disappointment after that dick appointment, at least once. It goes like this: the sex ends with you staring at the ceiling, dismayed and unsatisfied, thinking ‘is this really it?’
Things I’ve written recently:
When Should Sex Really End?
Sex Education Series: Different Types of Discharge
Why I cried when my boyfriend bought me Ben & Jerry’s ice cream
Unpacking Bridgerton on Sexism and Consent: How Far Have We Come?
My first Christmas was different from the romanticised version in my head