How Do You Get Over An Ex?

Getting over someone is hard, but it’s not impossible

[this is a snippet from my article on Medium.]

When you first meet them, it seems like some kind of magic — glitter raining down on you, sparks flying, fireworks bursting into an array of rainbows in the sky. They’re a charmer and they’ve charmed you, embedding that crescent moon smile into your heart, their perfume or cologne sinking into your skin so it stays with you. At first, you love it, breathing it in every chance you get, embracing that warmth and glimmer of blossoming love, of something that could be more. A relationship in the beginning, the start of something special.

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But it doesn’t last and even when you pull at wishbones and cross your fingers and blow on dandelions, closing your eyes with tears dancing on the edges of your lashes as stars dot the sky, they don’t come back. Breakups are notorious for being hard, getting over an ex forever painful because of all the memories and the feelings and the person they were.

There’s only so much drowning yourself in expensive and rich wine can do — all the tears and the crying to your mates about how you wish you could just have them back, or what you’d do differently this time if you could won’t change anything. It’s hard, yes, and you absolutely should cry about it — it’s healthy, even, but to sink into it, to allow it to wash over you and drag you under like a siren in the sea will only lead to a further damaged heart, bruised and broken even more.

Far too often, we wallow in the misery: staying in bed all the time, bingeing on Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, going through every flavour available at Tesco, watching shows that make us feel worse and avoiding reality. Grieving the end of a relationship — and by extension, losing that person — is difficult, but we make it even more difficult by letting it settle into our bones.

Feeling it is one thing, but letting in consume us is another.

Continue reading on Medium . . .

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Published by Sumaiya Ahmed

Sumaiya Ahmed is a Muslim student, poet and freelance features journalist, aiming to break down the boundaries of cultural stigma and shame attached to mental health and sexuality within the South Asian culture, and bringing marginalised topics to light.

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